Ton texte est intéressant et bien structuré mais il n'y aucune erreur ! C'est dommage qu'il ne soit pas rédigé par toi au lieu d'avoir été rédigé/corrigé par quelqu'un qui est bilangue!
Tu aurais eu 10/10 pour cette partie de l'oral.
A l'oral il y a quelques petites erreurs par rapport au texte :
"the disease today compare with the past" =} the disease today compared with the past.
"discrimination and injustice were persist =} discrimination and injustice were persistent
"…could be reject" =} ..could be rejected
"and therefore less reject" =} and therefore les rejected
more prevention is need =} more prevention is needed
Attention à la prononciation de certains mots comme : "defined", "Immunodeficiency", "HIV", "extent", "scientific", "finally", "shall", "benefits", "transmitted", "unprotected", "also", "disease", "suit"
Il faut bien prononcer les "s" à la 3ème pers. au singulier,…
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The Idea of progress
Introduction and problematic:
I'm going to talk about the idea of progress. The idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, development or change. It can be a technical, scientific or social progress that contributes to making the world a better place. To illustrate my notion, I will talk about AIDS. AIDS (or Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome), is a set of symptoms resulting from the destruction of cells of the immune system by the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). AIDS is the last stage of HIV infection, when immunosuppression is severe.
It is characterized by a progressive reduction in the immune defence system, including a certain type of white blood cell. This decrease in the defences leads to a high risk of infections and cancers. But we now know that AIDS still raises some ethical questions. So to what extent does scientific progress on AIDS contradict moral principles? First of all, we shall see the scientific progress that has been made over the years and finally we shall see the acceptance of the disease today compared with the past.
I. Scientific progress
Scientific progress is increasing our knowledge of the disease. Thus, it makes it possible to better understand the modes of transmission and, consequently, to know how we can cure them. It can also help many people to have a better life. Indeed, treatments have been developed over time:
- The use of drugs known as antiretroviral drugs. They consist of blocking the multiplication of the virus. The benefits of these improvements are, of course, very important: on the one hand, the infection no longer progresses, the person is healthier, and on the other hand, the virus can no longer be transmitted during sexual relations even if they are unprotected. Finally, treatment also makes it possible to give birth to HIV-negative children.
- The special care of patients with pathologies caused by immunodeficiency (deficiency of the immune defence system) ;
- Medical support and support from family and friends at the end of life.
Vaccination is still under study, with two aspects: on the one hand, the introduction of a preventive vaccine, to avoid contracting the virus; on the other, a therapeutic vaccine, which would stimulate the immune defences at least temporarily so that the infection can be controlled without taking medication.
II. Acceptance of the disease today compared to the past
This disease has caused much discrimination (physical and moral) and injustice. Over the years, mentalities have changed thanks to the knowledge of the transmission of the disease, but also thanks to the progress of medicine.
In the past, discrimination and injustice were persistent. In the film " Philadelphia " directed by Jonathan Demme in 1993. A brilliant young lawyer, Andrew Beckett, is fired because of his illness. Victim of the inequality of his associates, he will fight hard to win the lawsuit against this injustice. This film shows us the extent to which people with AIDS could be rejected by society.
To this day, people's view of the disease and the sick has improved, but remains difficult and unjust. There is much less discrimination and people are better understood and therefore less rejected. There is a lot of denigration out of fear.
Conclusion:
To conclude, it can be said that scientific progress can be very useful in preventing or curing diseases, but it raises many ethical questions such as discrimination for example. In my view, more prevention is needed to ensure that people are better informed so that discrimination against people with AIDS is reduced or eliminated.
